“It’s your darkness that pulls me in. Your mud vein. But sometimes having a mud vein will kill you.”
I really do not know where to start with this review. This is one book that was hard to read and is going to be extremely hard to review. With Tarryn Fisher you always know to expect the unexpected and this book is no different. While personally I didn’t like the ending it is what I have come to expect and I can see why Tarryn chose to end it that way, you know that with Tarryn at the other end of the keyboard it will never be what you think or want. One thing that you cannot deny though is that this book is flawlessly written, it will have you captivated from the start and will have you second guessing, third guessing and eternally guessing who the captor is, but such is the genius in the way it is written I bet you will be wrong time and time again. I for one never guessed and I watch a lot of crime type programmes and thought I would have seen through the plot, but alas no, I was wrong, each and every time.
If you are going into this thinking that this is a dark and erotic book then think again, I would say more of a dark, psychological thriller…more like a horror film and definitely not a romance. Actually, I think that this would make a great film, one that I would definitely watch. You are kept on the edge of your seat at all times, never knowing what is around the corner and it is that constant state of suspense that keeps you hanging and turning the pages. The words truly draw you in and you feel their fear, you feel their hunger, you feel their mental torture, you just FEEL and I love a book that makes me FEEL.
The blurb gives nothing away, only the beginning of the book. Senna wakes one morning with what she thinks is the mother of all hangovers, after all she was out celebrating her birthday. She soon realises she has no idea where she is and automatically thinks she has woken up in a strangers bed. She soon realises that she wishes that is what had happened but in reality her nightmare was truly beginning. She was caged in a totally desolate house surrounded by snow and an electrified fence, there was some food but there was also someone else…someone from her past…but why were they here? Why were they together? Where were they? Who had done this to them? And more importantly how were they going to escape this hell hole?
Totally and utterly isolated and while not knowing who to trust, these two have to work together to survive. It is obvious they have history but we are not let in on why or how until the book flashes back to the past. Slowly but surely their back story is seeped out and you begin to understand, their pasts are painful, can that all be put aside in the name of survival?
Senna is a novelist, so in a way she is used to her own company but she really has had a shit life. She has never conformed, never fit in, she can come across as aggressive and this has led to a solitary, lonely existence. She is dealt blow after blow and you begin to wonder if any sane person would be able to cope. There are people that are willing to help, friendships to be made, but Senna keeps them all at arm’s length, she refuses to let anyone in no matter how hard they try or persevere. Sometimes I just wanted to jump into the kindle and slap her about a bit, I wanted her to believe in herself, believe in the intentions of others, see people for who they were and what they wanted to be, but she was so damn stubborn. She would rather have been a recluse than believe that there was a happy ever after for her, waiting for her, she wouldn’t let anyone penetrate her broken mind or heart and it broke my heart, badly!!
“The more people you let in, the more bad you let in.”
“You’ve been silent your whole life. You were silent when we met, silent when you suffered. Silent when life kept hitting you. I was like that too, a little. But not like you. You are a stillness…Your silence, Senna, I hear it so loudly.”
Flitting from past to present this book puts you through the wringer both mentally and emotionally. I was so absorbed, I felt their isolation, I lived through it and it does end up haunting you. I was thinking about this book for days. You find yourself imagining it was you in their predicament, I was forever thinking, and what would I do? The monotony, the quiet, the hunger, the lack of trust, the constant state of being scared and frightened, it has you on the edge and as much as I wanted to read about the past I couldn’t wait for the book to switch back to the present.
This is definitely a book you know you have read, but I do feel it is what I call a “marmite” book; you will either love it or hate it. If you love that suspenseful, thriller type book, you will LOVE this book. If you appreciate flawless, genius writing, you will LOVE this book. If you want your head screwed with, you will LOVE this book.
“The truth is for the mind”
“Lies are for the heart. So let’s just keep lying.”
Once again, I have to admit that Tarryn is a genius; she obviously has a “dark side” that has been put out there for all to see. I hope, like me you appreciate this book for what it is…a masterfully written, total and utter mind fuck. It is highly addictive and once again I will say this needs to be made into a film. I can totally see this on the big screen.
“Every time you want to remember what love feels like, you look for me.”
Amazing job Tarryn!
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