**ARC received for honest review**
“My free will is not a freedom at all. I have to be a certain person, follow arbitrary rules set by his own creations, or be locked away in a cage like a circus animal, poked and prodded by society until I give in and become one of them.”So, Teresa Mummert has broken my F/F virginity, I do love M/M so I wasn’t that apprehensive about diving into this one but I still had a few jitters. I have to admit that I did think this would be a genre I couldn’t read but I actually enjoyed it and it wasn’t as taboo for me as my brain had led me to believe.
This is the story of Cara and Ellie. The book starts with a prologue that is upsetting to read. Cara has been the victim of a hate crime and Ellie is begging her to report it. With peoples opinions well known, Cara is reluctant and despite her injuries and what she endured she does not want to down that route. Then we are taken back to how Cara and Ellie first met.
Ellie has just lost her mother and as she is only seventeen she is sent to live with her father, a father she hasn’t seen for years and years, a father that deserted her and her mother. Cara also lives with her dad and his new wife, Dawn. Cara is the daughter of Dawn’s best friend and because of issues that Cara’s mother had with her, she sent Cara to Dawn’s to “re-evaluate” her life.
“She was like gravity, and my head was constantly in the clouds. I needed her to keep me grounded.”
Ellie is struggling after losing her mother and her Dad is not the best support network, he comes across as aloof and not worried but really he is just like a duck out of water and he has his own reasons too which I am glad that he and Ellie finally got around to airing. Ellie and Cara become each others crutch, Ellie is there for Cara as she struggles to work out who she is and Cara is there for Ellie as a shoulder to cry on, to grieve with and Cara is the person that makes Ellie want to live again. But lines cross and get blurred is this a friendship or is this more?
“What I had for her was just a crush. I knew that now, because losing her absolutely crushed me.”
This was a really good story, as always Teresa Mummert knows how to deliver an interesting and convincing story and I really enjoyed Cara and Ellie’s journey. Whether it be racism, discrimination, anti-gay whatever, and people always have their beliefs whether they be right or wrong and Teresa really managed to bring to the forefront how this affects the victims. At the end of the day you cannot help who you fall in love with, whether the world recognises it as “normal” or not. Just because you don’t agree with it does not mean you have the authority to try and do something about it. Live and let live, as long as it does not affect you directly why get involved?
“I’m wishing that you will find the kind of love that isn’t afraid - the fearless love that you gave me when I didn’t deserve it.”
This would have been a solid 4.5 star for me but for me personally I didn’t have that emotional connection to the characters. I am one of these “emotional readers,” I like to feel everything and live through everything that they are going through, I want to experience it too and for me, I just didn’t have that with this story. It may just be me though, I am just off the back of an extremely emotional book so perhaps I am just all cried out, but I have to be honest and say what I felt while reading.
For those that are unsure about reading an F/F, give it a try, it was a beautiful read and while it maybe taboo, love is love and this is a love story that evolves before your very eyes, one inexperienced girl and another trying to find out who she really is. This is a voyage of discovery for both Cara and Ellie. A journey where they find themselves and find out who really is on their side and is there for them. I have to say I loved Brody in this book; it just goes to show, never judge a book by its cover.
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