Title: Finding Me (His, #3)
Author: Mariah Dietz
Genre: Contemporary Romance
Release Date: June 1, 2015
Book Description:
I came here to escape. Leave the debris and avoid the inevitable truths.
Things are better.
Worse.
Different.
I’m finding me, but in the process I fear I’m forgetting those I have left, and the ones who have left me. Maybe I’m losing who I was.
I’m finding me, but in the process I fear I’m forgetting those I have left, and the ones who have left me. Maybe I’m losing who I was.
Can I forget my past and move forward?
Can I forget him?
Can I forget him?
Add it to Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/25283221-finding-me?from_search=true&search_version=service
Buy Links:
Buy Links for other books in the series:
Becoming His (Book 1) (FREE)
Losing Her (Book 2)
Excerpt:
Walking the short distance through the apartment and down to the parking lot, time slows down, allowing me to fixate on the fact that I look like a mess, and feel like I’m walking too straight. I slump my shoulders slightly to try and look more relaxed and then feel even more awkward, and straighten again and feel even more rigid.
He unlocks the truck with the press of a button and unlike he did when we rode in his Jeep together, he doesn’t come to open the passenger door. I’m still debating if I wanted him to when I notice a water bottle lying in the middle seat. It was mine. I carried it in here from the hospital Sunday. I never would have remembered it if I didn’t see it again, that entire night is sort of a blur, but at some point, someone had passed it to me while we waited for the doctor. I don’t remember carrying it out. It’s still mostly full, showing proof I barely touched it. Did I carry it out?
The truck starts with a soft rumble. It sounds so different than his Jeep. My mind turns with the gears. What do I say to the guy that was everything and is now supposed to mean nothing to me? This silence is unbearably uncomfortable. I can’t stop from guessing what he’s thinking. Is he wishing I wasn’t here? In his truck? In California?
“So, how’s medical school?”
Max’s head turns and his eyes focus on me for a second before he turns back to the road. I keep my attention on him, confused by his delayed response. Of all topics, this seems like a safe route. “I have my own set of flashcards.”
I smile out of relief more than humor. “I used the wrong set of flashcards to study for a test last semester.” I shake my head and release a short breath. “It’s amazing that I passed it.”
“I bet you got an A on the paper, didn’t you?”
I glance at Max and he’s looking at me. His head shakes and a soft chuckle mingles with the music. “You’re the smartest person I know. You’re astrophysicist material.”
“Says the guy studying to be a brain surgeon.”
“Neurosurgeon.”
My laughter fills the truck. It’s not even that his joke was all that funny, but having an easy conversation with Max makes laughing easier. Better. When my laughter fades into a smile I expect to feel the same stab of nostalgia I experienced earlier with the knowledge that I will miss this, but I don’t. I simply appreciate the moment, and attempt to stretch it. “Do you remember the Maximus flashcard?”
Max’s truck pulls into a parking spot, and he shifts into park before turning to me. “I remember everything.” His tone is solemn, but his face is relaxed. I keep his stare without abashment. I want to stay here and continue to draw out this moment. To feel this emotion that’s flushing through me, warming me, and filling me with something I have forgotten about. I don’t know how to describe it: it’s not the same comfort that I get from being around my sisters, or the adrenaline I receive when I reach that point while running; it’s a rightness, a completeness that makes my heart swell and my smile broaden. My head starts to race with interpretations of what this means, but a fog fills my thoughts because I know. My heart understands exactly what he’s saying to me … I think.
“I do too.” My admission makes me feel brave.
My phone rings, and we’re back in his driveway almost two years ago when his phone rang, back to where neither of us knows how to say the right thing to one another, but this time it’s both of us walking a gray tightrope, one that felt less intimidating to cross because I could see him at the other side.
His eyes close and he looks embarrassed, or possibly ashamed. It awakens old tendencies, making me question the reality of the moment. My phone rings again, and Max’s entire body shifts away from me. Opening the door, he climbs out in one fluid movement.
I don’t know if I can go out there and face him right now. I feel as though he’s rejecting me all over again, and it makes my eyes and throat burn.
He unlocks the truck with the press of a button and unlike he did when we rode in his Jeep together, he doesn’t come to open the passenger door. I’m still debating if I wanted him to when I notice a water bottle lying in the middle seat. It was mine. I carried it in here from the hospital Sunday. I never would have remembered it if I didn’t see it again, that entire night is sort of a blur, but at some point, someone had passed it to me while we waited for the doctor. I don’t remember carrying it out. It’s still mostly full, showing proof I barely touched it. Did I carry it out?
The truck starts with a soft rumble. It sounds so different than his Jeep. My mind turns with the gears. What do I say to the guy that was everything and is now supposed to mean nothing to me? This silence is unbearably uncomfortable. I can’t stop from guessing what he’s thinking. Is he wishing I wasn’t here? In his truck? In California?
“So, how’s medical school?”
Max’s head turns and his eyes focus on me for a second before he turns back to the road. I keep my attention on him, confused by his delayed response. Of all topics, this seems like a safe route. “I have my own set of flashcards.”
I smile out of relief more than humor. “I used the wrong set of flashcards to study for a test last semester.” I shake my head and release a short breath. “It’s amazing that I passed it.”
“I bet you got an A on the paper, didn’t you?”
I glance at Max and he’s looking at me. His head shakes and a soft chuckle mingles with the music. “You’re the smartest person I know. You’re astrophysicist material.”
“Says the guy studying to be a brain surgeon.”
“Neurosurgeon.”
My laughter fills the truck. It’s not even that his joke was all that funny, but having an easy conversation with Max makes laughing easier. Better. When my laughter fades into a smile I expect to feel the same stab of nostalgia I experienced earlier with the knowledge that I will miss this, but I don’t. I simply appreciate the moment, and attempt to stretch it. “Do you remember the Maximus flashcard?”
Max’s truck pulls into a parking spot, and he shifts into park before turning to me. “I remember everything.” His tone is solemn, but his face is relaxed. I keep his stare without abashment. I want to stay here and continue to draw out this moment. To feel this emotion that’s flushing through me, warming me, and filling me with something I have forgotten about. I don’t know how to describe it: it’s not the same comfort that I get from being around my sisters, or the adrenaline I receive when I reach that point while running; it’s a rightness, a completeness that makes my heart swell and my smile broaden. My head starts to race with interpretations of what this means, but a fog fills my thoughts because I know. My heart understands exactly what he’s saying to me … I think.
“I do too.” My admission makes me feel brave.
My phone rings, and we’re back in his driveway almost two years ago when his phone rang, back to where neither of us knows how to say the right thing to one another, but this time it’s both of us walking a gray tightrope, one that felt less intimidating to cross because I could see him at the other side.
His eyes close and he looks embarrassed, or possibly ashamed. It awakens old tendencies, making me question the reality of the moment. My phone rings again, and Max’s entire body shifts away from me. Opening the door, he climbs out in one fluid movement.
I don’t know if I can go out there and face him right now. I feel as though he’s rejecting me all over again, and it makes my eyes and throat burn.
Review:
Reviewed by Donna ~ 4.5 stars
***ARC received for an honest review***
This is the third book in this trilogy that follows the characters of Harper a.k.a. Ace and Max. I have to say even though this trilogy is their story; it is also a story about their family as a whole. Mariah Dietz has created this wonderful family, the Bosse’s, where every character has played their part and Mariah Dietz brought them all to life page by page. I have followed this series from the start and with each new release they have embedded themselves into my heart. We have had some amazing highs and some soul destroying lows but what Mariah Dietz has delivered with this instalment is the grand finale, and while their story may be over I am not ready to let them go, any of them. This is one of those families that you could read about in perpetuity.
“There are very few things in this world that we can consider normal. Life is not one of them.”
Finding Me carries on from Losing Her and we are back with Harper/Ace’s POV and catch up with her after her move to the East Coast. Harper has been through the worst time in her life and for her, her fight or flight decision has come to fruition and as is typical for her flight was her only option. Leaving her family behind Harper needs to find herself. Somewhere underneath the grief is Ace just waiting to come back out but for now she is suffering from the biggest identity crisis she has ever had. Harper tells herself that by doing this alone she should be able to mend without dragging down everyone else around her. She tells herself that what she is doing is for the best but the repercussions of her actions as we know have far reaching consequences for all the family. The family are lost, they lost their anchor and now it seems they have lost Ace too.
“Life is going to be filled with hurdles that test our strengths, but ultimately, it’s a celebration - a journey. Don’t stop because it hurts, or because it’s scary; pain and fear already take too much, don’t give them more. Fight to be happy…”
This book was more than a journey for Ace; this was a voyage of discovery. Ace was so lost and emotionally destroyed, grief, demons and insecurities taking over the beautiful woman that was buried underneath all that sorrow. Not only had she lost her anchor, her best friend, her go to person but she had also lost her soul mate. The two people that she depended on the most, gone, it was too much too soon, no wonder she had her meltdown. Now miles away from home she has to fend for herself and after keeping her head low, at last she is thrown into a situation whereby she has no option but to converse and for me, this was the first stepping stone to recovery.
“You didn’t break me when you left - you destroyed me.”
Ace makes friends in Delaware, Fitz, Danny and Kitty. Fitz was such an adorable character and despite Ace’s best attempts to keep him at arms length, this guy just never gave up, he was like a dog with a bone and thank god he had that tenacity, because he was the first person to get through to Ace. He became her best friend out there and boy did she need him, whether she wanted to admit it or not. Danny was a fighter, he had the looks and the strength but deep down he knew that Ace’s heart belonged elsewhere, but he enabled Ace to see herself differently and he was another friend that Ace desperately needed. Kitty was a counsellor and she provided the light in the darkness for Ace, it was Kitty that showed her the way, pointed her in the right direction, opened her mind to see what was right before her eyes, she managed to get inside Ace and gave her the confidence and direction that she desperately needed.
“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.” - Lao Tzu
We all know that the Bosse family were extremely close and now with a family wedding Ace was needed back home. This is where Ace really needed to pull on all her strength. This is where she needed to face those demons, face those memories and most of all, face Max. Their paths would cross again, finally, but can the past be forgotten, can the hurt and abandonment be forgiven? These are all big hurdles but maybe, just maybe, they could at least be friends…after all Max had moved on.
“Take care of my heart, Max. I’m leaving her in your hands.” - David
With each book in this series you can see the growth in Mariah Dietz’s writing, as each review has shown and the rating attached, they have just got better and better and for a debut author at the time she really bought her A game. The character connection is first class; the emotions that this story evokes are countless. I have laughed, loved and cried. I have been devastated, I have been angry, I have been confused and I have been elated. But most of all, I know that I have been on one incredible journey with this family as a whole. This book hammers home the importance of the family unit, how everyone pulls together in times of crisis, no matter their own pain. This book shows that not everyone is perfect and we don’t always make the right choices but the true strength is shown in owning them and being able to admit when they are wrong and having the courage and conviction to do something about it.
“I love the person I’ve become, because I fought to become her.” - Kaci Diane
I have loved this series from the start and cannot recommend it highly enough, this is predominantly New Adult and I have to say one of the best that I have read especially in regards to depth of characters, character connection and that all important emotional pull. Yes I cried, but I also loved and of course the Bosse girls always bring plenty of laughs. For a well balanced series, I cannot recommend this highly enough.
About the Author:
Mariah Dietz lives in Eastern Washington with her husband and two sons that are the axis of her crazy and wonderful world.Mariah grew up in a tiny town outside of Portland, Oregon where she spent the majority of her time immersed in the pages of books that she both read and created.
She has a love for all things that include her sons, good coffee, books, travel, and dark chocolate. She also has a deep passion for the stories she writes, and hopes readers enjoy the journeys she takes them on, as much as she loves creating them.
Website: http://www.mariahdietz.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Mariah-Dietz/317058868472780?fref=ts
Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/https://twitter.com/MariahDietz
Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/8474696.Mariah_Dietz
Giveaway:
Direct Link: http://www.rafflecopter.com/rafl/display/dda4dfec280/?
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