Saturday, 30 July 2016

Blog Tour, Excerpt, Review & Giveaway ~ Ball Peen Hammer by Lauren Rowe


Ready the Pickles, Keane Morgan is finally here!

Meet Keane in this STANDALONE romantic comedy! 
(No Prior reading required)


Book Description:

Keane Morgan wouldn’t return any of my calls or texts, and I was pissed as hell about it. I didn’t want to drive from Seattle to L.A. with the guy any more than he wanted to drive with me, but I had no frickin’ choice in the matter--at least, not if I wanted to use his brother Dax’s coveted parking spot at UCLA. 

Okay, so it turned out Keane was objectively gorgeous, and, fine, pretty funny, too. But did he have to be so damned in love with himself? I mean, jeez, the cocky way he flashed those dimples was just so orchestrated. And, honestly, what kind of guy uses the phrase “baby doll” with a straight face? Oh, that’s right: the kind of guy who’s a male stripper. 

Yup, the cocky jerk turned out to be Seattle’s answer to Magic Mike, a stripper known as “Ball Peen Hammer”--which meant Keane Morgan was emphatically not the kind of guy I’d ever fall for. 

Not. At. All.

No freakin’ way.

Well, until Keane convinced me to fall for him, that is. 

Which I did.

Hard.


Buy Links:



Our Review:

Reviewed by Donna ~ 4.5 stars
***ARC received for an honest review***


“Still livin’ the dream, dolin’ out fantasies to the horny ladies one lap dance at a time.”


Ever since I discovered Lauren Rowe with her fantastic series “The Club” I have been an addict. From the first read and every read thereafter I have gelled with her writing and though for some it is over the top, for me, it ticks my boxes. I love the cute romance, her sense of humour albeit in the gutter at times always has me laughing and in stitches and in this book her wit and comedic genius rules in spades. Yes, it can be a little childish, yes the dialogue is hilarious but our Peenie is a little bit like Peter Pan, he is the boy that never grew up, but in Ball Peen Hammer he comes a long, long way.


“He’s Daffy Duck trapped inside Prince Charming’s body. Quite an entertaining combination, I must admit. He’s like watching my own private reality TV show.”


Keane “Ball Peen Hammer” Morgan is a male stripper, definitely think Magic Mike. He is the epitome of beautiful and stunningly handsome and he knows it. Yes, he is a tad immature, he is cocky, a touch arrogant but this man has a huge heart and a heart of gold. He is naturally hilarious, couldn’t be serious if he tried, lives life to the max but when he loves, he loves hard and it has never happened before, but then, he had never met Maddy Milliken.


“…I’ll never hate you as long as I live.”


Maddy Milliken is my kind of woman; she was totally “adorbsicles” as our Peenie lovingly names her. While quiet and unassuming on first appearances, when this girl gets her confidence mojo she can battle with the best of them. She is quick smart, her sense of humour is fabulous and she takes no crap, especially from Keane. While these two didn’t hit it off straight away, once these two embark on their road trip, all bets are off. Maddy was a budding film maker and documentaries were her speciality. Embarking on a new adventure to film school a road trip is in order and her over protective sister makes her take a chaperone…our Keanie Peenie!


“My middle name is “Put Your Fucking Shirt On, Keane Elijah Fucking Morgan,”” I say. Keane laughs uproariously.
“God, you’re adorbsicles, Maddy, just like Zander said you’d be.”
“And you’re annoy-sicles.”


These two just made one and other, so well suited, their banter was infectious and they put each other at ease. They believed in each other, they fed off each other and their chemistry, platonic and sexual was off the charts. Lauren Rowe really delivered on the character connection and you just could not help but fall in love with these two and champion them along. While Keane at first glances is not lacking in anything he needs his time outs where he just shuts himself off from the rest of the world, it is this that really shows us his vulnerable side and for all his bravado and charisma it was great to get this glimpse of him. It showed the reader that he was in fact real and was in fact a little intimidated of the route that his job had taken him.


“You’ve unleashed me, baby. I’m brand new.”


I laughed hard and I laughed long with this one. My heart was just bursting with love for these two. I’m sure that Lauren Rowe must have been a dude in a past life because Keane was too real, his vocabulary consisted of fun, filth or “Nietzsche,” and his friendship with his best mate, Zander would have anyone in hysterics. These two together made many a laugh out loud moment…think the tune of Old McDonald…some weed… “Dick-pic to a chick-chick, everywhere a dick-pic. Here a dick, there a pic, everywhere a dick-pic…E-I-E-I-O.” You had to be there… but it was the little things that made you laugh so hard yet underneath was a beautiful love story for two people that were complete opposites yet were the yin to the yang, the tea to the biscuits, the ice cream to shark week… they just went.


“Okay, confession? I don’t actually know who Nietzsche is. All I know is he’s the guy I’m supposed to name-drop whenever I wanna sound super smart.”


So, if you want a good laugh, I can highly recommend this, it’s an easy read, a comforting read, a turn that frown upside down read. Keanie Peanie is too infectious and Maddy Miliken, as I said is just “adorbsicles.” Another hit for Lauren Rowe.


“And that right there is why I love you the most.”


Excerpt:

As they exchange information, I make my way to the end of my aisle and loop into theirs, not taking my eyes off Baby Face the whole time. Shit. This dude’s hunting Maddy so hard, it’s making my blood boil. Jesus, he’s going full-throttle rifle on Maddy’s ass right now, completely foregoing his crossbow altogether.

When I reach the two of them in the middle of their aisle, I shuffle past the dude and stand next to Maddy, shoulder to shoulder, and then, on a sudden impulse, put my arm around her shoulders and squeeze her tight, making her wobble in place at the unexpected jolt to her balance. “Hey, sis,” I say, squeezing her like a rag doll. “You totally fell down on your candy-acquiring duties.”

“I know. I’m sorry.” She subtly wiggles out of my grasp. “Brian and I got into this hilarious argument about the best candy bar of all- time, and—”

“And I’m totally right,” Brian says, cutting her off, and they both chuckle at some inside joke.

“No, I’m totally right,” Maddy corrects.

Brian smiles at her. “I’ll actually be down in L.A. in a month. How ’bout I call you then?”

“Great.”

“Nice to meet you, man,” Brian says, looking at me. He nods but doesn’t put out his hand.

I nod back.

Brian strolls away, buys a Snickers bar and a can of Red Bull, and leaves with a little wave to Maddy.

The minute he’s out the door, Maddy takes a giant step away from me, her face etched with annoyance. “What was that?” she asks.

“What?”


“That weird thing you just did?”


“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”


Maddy puts on an exaggerated scowl, like she’s Hulk Hogan eying an opponent. “’Hey, Brian,’” she says in a low voice, clearly intending to imitate me but sounding more like Arnold Schwarzenegger imitating Maddy imitating me. “’I’m Maddy Milliken’s bodyguard and I’m going to beat you the hell up now,’” she adds.

“What are you talking about?” I say, chuckling.

Maddy pauses, assessing me, and finally shrugs. “Nothing. I guess I imagined it.”

“Imaged what?”

“Your weird... I dunno... vibe.”


“Oh, well, yeah. I was worried about you.”


“Worried about me? I was standing in a minimart, buying candy. Pretty low-risk activity, I’d say.”


“Uh, you absolutely were not standing in a minimart, buying candy—you totally fell down on that job, dude. You were standing in a minimart, getting picked up by a douche. And second of all—”

“What?”

Shit. What the fuck am I doing? I’ve got to stop this shit right now. “Don’t get riled up, baby doll,” I say in my most soothing voice. “All I’m saying is you took so damned long in here, I started thinking maybe the store was getting robbed or you’d fallen into the toilet or something.”

Maddy twists her mouth. “Brian didn’t seem the least bit douchey to me.”

I shrug.
“What gave you the impression he’s a douche?”


“Just a figure of speech. So are you gonna do the job I hired you to do or not?” I motion to the candy rack. “‘Cause based on your performance thus far, you’re totally fired.”

“And I wasn’t getting ‘picked up,’” Maddy says, her tone full of indignation. “Brian’s brother goes to UCLA. Can’t I talk to a helpful, nice guy without it being some sort of a sleazy pick-up?”

“Sure you can. However, in this instance, you were talking to a helpful, nice guy who was picking you up so he can bone the living fuck outta ya.”

“Keane.” Maddy’s cheeks burst with color. “Don’t say that. Oh my god. You’re insane. Brian was just being helpful, that’s all.”

“Yeah, so he can bone the living fuck outta ya.”

“Stop saying that. Please. It’s offensive and absolutely not true. This topic of conversation is officially over.”


About the Author:



USA Today and internationally bestselling author Lauren Rowe lives in San Diego, California, where, in addition to writing books, she performs with her dance/party band at events all over Southern California, writes songs, takes embarrassing snapshots of her ever-patient Boston terrier, Buster, spends time with her wonderful family, and narrates audiobooks. Much to Lauren’s thrill, her books have been translated all over the world in multiple languages and hit multiple domestic and international bestseller lists. With enticing characters, enthralling situations and a general love of romantic fiction, Lauren has created a world of her own, full of wit and sensual desire.

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